let go, let God
From Salon -- one of Pastor Ted Haggard's pals, a Pastor Mark Driscoll, is blaming Mrs. Haggard for her husband's infidelity because -- wait for it -- she let herself go. Gayle's pictured here. Pastor Driscoll says:
"At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either."
Read the Salon article for the full argument/outrage. I'm merely pointing out that my wide experience in meeting minister's wives (being a PK) shows that these women know they're in the public eye, and therefore take particular pains with their appearance. My own mother (pictured above) for instance:
1. Has never left the house without full makeup. I guarantee you if I called her to pick me up from the emergency room at 2 a.m., she'd show up in lipstick. Concerned, capable, and in lipstick.
2. Has never owned anything denim.
3. Is still a little sore at my dad for catching her in rollers in my first-day-of-school photos (circa 1976.)
Driscoll himself points out that minister's wives are often seen "as some glorified First Lady." Painfully true, which is why most of them look so perfectly turned-out. On the "letting yourself go" scale, I'd wager that minister's wives as a group far fall below the national average.
Since he's raised the question, here's the only picture of Pastor Driscoll's wife I could find. Leaving aside what looks like post-baby weight, those are some serious dark roots there, blondie. Couldn't you make a bit of an effort -- for your husband's sake?
Oh, the Freudian irony! If Haggard is gay it must be his wife's fault. And Driscoll is ready to 'lean over and take one for the team' to prove it.
Posted by
The_Shadow |
1:16 PM
And invoking the Song of Songs to make such a vile and ridiculous argument - especially when a good deal of that poem seems to be celebrating a man's beauty (ostensibly spoken by a woman, "let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth"! And let him bring me some methamphetine while he's at it).
Mrs Haggard looks cute as button (as does your Mom) and I'm sure she too will never be seen without lipstick during God's testing of her marital vows!
Posted by
postacademic |
3:12 PM
I admit the only reason I wrote anything snide about Mrs. Driscoll was in the hopes that a Jesus freak would post a vile comment about me which I could then mock. But I'm not that popular, and neither is Mark Driscoll, thankfully. Good luck, Gracie. You're gonna need it.
Posted by
em |
4:16 PM
we have all seen the pictures of Britney when she was letting herself go....nuff said.
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:47 PM
by the way, your mom looks fab. My mom may show up in her tatty, too tight, polar fleece long underwear ensambles, but damn it, she does put on the lipstick.
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:49 PM
I found you blog through your link to my blog for the Grace Driscoll photo. Thanks for the link. But I think you are being somewhat unfair with Mr. Driscoll's statement.
Mark Driscoll said:
Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either.
He never says this is the case for Mrs. Haggard. He is speaking in general terms, not specific here about Mrs. Haggard. While he could be talking about her, anyone who has seen her (which includes Mark Driscoll) would not make that claim about her. I've seen plenty of pastor's wives who fit exactly what Mr. Driscoll is talking about. Same goes for a lot of those pastors.
Big Chris
Posted by
Chris Meirose |
10:29 AM
SWEEET
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:54 PM
I left that first part of the quote off, because it's beside my point, which is about personal appearance.
A person's appearance has zero, nada, nothing to do with his or her spouse's fidelity. Fidelity is about one's own character, ethics, and values. To blame Haggard's infidelity on his wife's appearance is not only demeaning, cruel, and unchristian, it's also ignorant. Haggard didn't choose some bombshell babe -- he chose a man. The man wanted penis!
Posted by
em |
8:51 PM
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