hypochondrimania
Just back from my annual physical, and in addition to giving the undercarriage a good how's your father, here are the interesting things that are wrong with me:
1. Perinasal dermatitis. This means "a skin thing sort of around the nose." Apparently it's a mild form of rosacea, which is prone to stike those who made it through adolescence without acne. Great! Highschool was a dermalogical triumph -- my brother and cousins all had acne -- but now I must suffer?
2. Possible arthritis in my right hand. WTF is this?!?!? Doctor said it's WAY too early for it, so shipped me off for x-rays pronto and the hand specialist next week. Could be a bone spur. I've already started practicing my ambidextry.
As I was in the hospital outpatient area for xrays, I noticed two things.
1. Scrubs are ugly. Drawstring waists make your ass look like 2 stuffed hamhocks. I'm going to be wearing them sometime in the future, so somebody needs to figure out how to cut them in a more flattering way. The smocks you can easily put some darts into. The pants ... I dunno. I nominate Anne to address this challenge.
(I haven't googled it yet. Perhaps someone's already making Shapely Scrubs. But if not -- this idea could be our ticket to the front row, people. Mum's the word.)
2. Half the people in the outpatient area were grossly overweight to morbidly obese. Two people had lost limbs, presumably to diabetes. And what are the volunteer ladies selling for a fundraiser? See's Candy! They didn't even have any sugar-free, I looked. I may have to send a sternly-worded letter.
1. Perinasal dermatitis. This means "a skin thing sort of around the nose." Apparently it's a mild form of rosacea, which is prone to stike those who made it through adolescence without acne. Great! Highschool was a dermalogical triumph -- my brother and cousins all had acne -- but now I must suffer?
2. Possible arthritis in my right hand. WTF is this?!?!? Doctor said it's WAY too early for it, so shipped me off for x-rays pronto and the hand specialist next week. Could be a bone spur. I've already started practicing my ambidextry.
As I was in the hospital outpatient area for xrays, I noticed two things.
1. Scrubs are ugly. Drawstring waists make your ass look like 2 stuffed hamhocks. I'm going to be wearing them sometime in the future, so somebody needs to figure out how to cut them in a more flattering way. The smocks you can easily put some darts into. The pants ... I dunno. I nominate Anne to address this challenge.
(I haven't googled it yet. Perhaps someone's already making Shapely Scrubs. But if not -- this idea could be our ticket to the front row, people. Mum's the word.)
2. Half the people in the outpatient area were grossly overweight to morbidly obese. Two people had lost limbs, presumably to diabetes. And what are the volunteer ladies selling for a fundraiser? See's Candy! They didn't even have any sugar-free, I looked. I may have to send a sternly-worded letter.
i believe women's lib put an end to the shapley scrubs, aka the white short skirted nurses uniform (try costumes on haight). Although I venture to say the sexy nurses may have increased the length of hospital stays, and in todays world where we are sent home with medical equiptment literally hanging out of our bodies to shorten our stays, limit our nursing, and thusly cheapen our heath care expenses it may be an uphill battle. But I digress...
Here is what I REALLY don't understand...the patterned scrubs. You can flaunt your love of care bears, unicorns, or fly your patriotic flag- but at all costs, you will not feel like a woman! What a country. When I visit Joanna in NYC I will bring up the concept or Gap or Old Navy scrubs- shit they make up the majority of my work wardrobe- of course not all those are flattering...cue my non-maternity, but looks- maternity (I had to check) jersey tunic from Old Navy which I am wearing now. Are you sure you want me to handle this?!
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:22 PM
Your digressions are both delightful and baffling!
I don't want sexy, I simply want flattering. I've been thinking about it and I think it means widening the drawstring waist. They can be okay if the belting isn't a string. The wider belt drapes around you rather than the string belt, which bunches more, having more surface area.
I so hear you on the stupid patterned scrubs! I have a lot of premed/nursing types in my classes, lots of whom have medical jobs, and I am always amazed at the array of tackiness in pattered scrubs - yesterday was Betty Boop and puppies. I suppose if you're in peds it's acceptable but otherwise, no.
Posted by
em |
10:31 AM
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